What's your passion?!

That is the question of the day.  But just to be clear--I am not the one asking...more like--I am the one who is going to slap the next person who asks me that in the face with a nice whipped cream pie.  :-)

So I just got done talking with a friend of mine who is a pharmacist.  I was quizing her on the 'life of a pharmacist' and she was quizing me on why I want to be a pharmacist.  I explained how I don't know for a fact that this is what I want to do--but right now it sounds appealing so I am pursuing it.  She told me what it is like, and that for the most part she likes it, but honestly what she really wants is something more like my life --what? crazy huh? lol (more free time, out of the daily grind of work--I get that).  So I asked her  'What would you do if you were me? What do you wish you had time for, but don't?'  And what I interpreted her answers to mean--were her hobbies.  When you work full time you miss having time to scrapbook, read, garden, learn farming (in her case :-)  etc, etc.  But when you are home all day --and your only child is in school all day --you don't want your daily/life accomplishments to be those hobbies.  Is scrapbooking fun? YES! Do I want it to be the most important/only thing (other than the chores) I accomplished? no.  (not to mention you have to have an interesting life so that you have something fun to scrapbook --right?)

This just further solidified my theory that working part-time would be ideal.  Have your cake and eat it too! Right!  Anyway, after talking to her-and saying everything out loud, here are some things that became more clear:

Reasons why Pharmacy sounds appealing:

• getting to work towards a new goal--one that will be hard, but very fulfilling once it is complete
• get to have the feeling of moving forward
• just getting to learn new things:  In college, and in High school... and in elementary school--I loved learning.  I was the kid in first grade who had fun reading 100 books just to earn a plastic plaque, I was one of those kids who left class during math and reading to go to the gifted program--and got actual enjoyment out of how many hard books I could read, or how much math homework I could do.  I was one of the kids known as "GG" (goddy-goody) I did all my homework--and got straight A's--so sue me. :-) I was one of those college students at ASU on a full academic scholarship, graduated with honors in just 3 and a half years.  Basically --all I am saying is that I like learning, and that I am good at it--so maybe I should stick with it -eh?   (ps--for the record--I did not feel this way right after I finished at ASU,  but now I have had a break, and had a chance to miss it, and got the desire to 'just be a mom and have kids' out of my system...sort of :-)
• being social  (okay--so maybe it is worse here...but honestly even in Boston and Phoenix there were times that it was just me and Rachel most days and maybe I would talk to a few other adults.)
• after graduation--being able to make enough part-time that you don't have to work full time--therefore having the money--and also the time --to do fun stuff--travel, scrapbook, etc

Are there other things that could fulfill the above requirements...without having to go to four more years of difficult school and taking out a ton more in student loans?   (maybe...I think I hope so--but I haven't found it yet--and I want to do something!)  Here are the alternatives I have thought of:

• gardening/scrapbooking/reading/traveling---fun for a little while, and fills the time, but isn't fulfilling --(See comments above)  and I don't want to be the person who just sits at home spending money while my husband is working hard making the money.  (not that I spend that much money, or that I am the only one spending money, or that I don't contribute at all financially)--but it just seems wrong--and it's not who I want to be.  (hmm...maybe it would be nice if I could just sit at home and enjoy it huh? :-)
• some at-home-business idea--usually the type of money made makes it more of a hobby than a job.  And I also miss the social part--I don't have to be at home--so I would rather be out 'there' (in the world)--Honestly talking to my friends is usually one of the highlights of my day.  (Thanks Julie! :-)
• change careers by going to a technical college (dental hygiene, ultrasound technician...) Less cost, and less time in school...but I feel like I am moving backwards, and that my bachelor's would be pointless. Sure--learning is never pointless...but that is how I would feel.  Not to mention the pay isn't very much--so unless it was something that I LOVE and am passionate about...(more on that later)   then working would be pretty pointless--as in just the same way it is now.
• teaching--I miss socializing with adults, not kids.  And after volunteering in Rachel's class I saw very quickly how being tapped on the leg/arm and hearing "mom, mom, mom" is multiplied by about 24 as a teacher--and I am not sure I can--nor want to--handle that.  Justified by reiterating that I said I love learning...not  teaching. :-)  Maybe teaching high school/college would be different but not interested in either of those right now.

And back to the question of What is my Passion???  That is a tough one--and when some things you enjoy don't fall in a precise category (a sport, a craft, a past-time) then I question whether in fact it counts.  But here are a few of my newly justified passions/hobbies:

• Running  (only when it's sunny, and I have music to listen to) 
• Scrapbooking/blogging/journaling--I have a bad memory--anything not written down, i forget.  Just writing it down--whether or not I look at it again--helps me to remember it.  And I definitely don't want to forget any of my happiest times so I try to make sure they are all documented.
• memory making--the hobby of doing things just because they would make a good memory/entry on my blog/page in my scrapbook.  Hey--it's true, I am not afraid to admit it--and calling it a hobby justifies it and encourages me to get out there and do more stuff and try new things.
• thrift store shopping--the thrill of the search and the thrill of not just finding something amazing--but finding it super cheap!
• reading
• Basking in the sun shine  (whether it be curling up by a window inside the house during the winter to pretend it is warmer than it is, laying out to get a tan, sitting in my hammock chair reading a book by my garden, sitting in my car reading a book between classes with the sun shining on me through the window--anything is better in the sun).

As for the question--do I think you should choose a career that is "Your Passion" ??   My conclusion is that if you can make a living doing something that you love--great! then DO IT!  (ie: you have the voice of a rockstar and the desire to live on the road, or you LOVE doing makeovers and having your own salon is your dream come true, get the idea?).  But it doesn't always work that way.  And, if you can't, (or making a career out of your passion would ruin the fun of it), then find a career that makes it easier to do the things you love in your free time.  As in, find a job with a paycheck that will pay for your expensive hobby, or choose a career that has a slow winter season so you will be able to take lots of time off to go skiing, or choose a career that pays more so you can work less and have more time to sit at home and read books, lay out in the sunshine, and go shopping! 

That is my passion--and I intend to find SOMETHING that will make it happen 

(all while making me feel smart and useful --rather than just a laxzy bum who gets to do all those things already :-)