Real Life

Okay, so I am aware that I moved to Phoenix back in June--about two months ago, but I still feel like we are in transition mode.  Actually, doing the math right then and realizing that it has only been two months makes me feel a whole lot better, because I feel like we have been here longer than that and I feel wierd admitting that I still don't feel like I am back to "real life" yet.  In my defense we were on vacation, then packing, and unpacking, and cleaning, then on vacation again, then I was in omaha, now I am back--but in a two week limbo until my classes start. 

I know I have posted some this summer, but they have been just quick posts but I have some time tonight and I am in the mood to try and document some more about what our transition has been like. 

So--I apologize for all the text ahead of time.  I am feeling like I could use some writing therapy. 

First of all, I'll start with something from tonight since it is fresh in my mind.   I am dealing with a very home sick little girl.  Thankfully, I feel like I can empathize with her, because I too moved a lot when I was younger.  Here are the stories I keep telling her to help her know I understand how she is feeling. 

I was born in Utah, in the same city where both of my grandparents lived and I was really sad to when my dad got a new job in colorado when I was in the middle of Kindergarten.  I cried a lot.  I wrote a note on the inside of a gum wrapper that said "I don't like it here, I want to go back to where we used to be." I am pretty sure I begged to go back and live with my grandma--which didn't help my mom at all, who was also very homesick having just moved away from family with her four kids for the first time.  We lived there just long enough for me to make one really good friend, so when we moved just a year later, in the middle of first grade, I was really sad again because I missed Michelle.  We moved to arizona and lived in one house for the rest of first grade, then we actually moved once more before I started second grade.  When I started second grade I remember hearing girls say "we have known each other since kindergarten" and I was sad knowing that I would never say that about anyone.  That year I made friends with a girl named Cherise.  We were in the same class, and while it isn't kindergarten I think it is pretty cool to be able to say I am still in touch with a friend I have known since 2nd grade.  I remember being jealous of her pretty handwritting.  Even when she was in a hurry and not trying, she had the nicest writing.  If I wrote really slow and tried really hard my writting could look almost as pretty as hers, but when I was in a hurry then it was back to chicken scratch.  In third grade and fourth grade we made friends with another girl named Jennifer.  We had the funnest sleepovers, and we all played soccer on the same team.  In the middle of 5th grade we moved again--this time nearby, only maybe 5 miles--but it was "over the hill" which meant that I would go to a different elementary school. A different junior high.  AND a different high school.  Lame.  When you had time to make better friends, it makes the next move that much harder.  I stayed in that house until I graduated high school, but of course I have had to deal with saying good-bye to good friends and having to make new friends when I went to college, moved to boston, moved back to arizona, then to the rez, then back here.   it never does get any easier.  Only now I guess we have blogs and emails and ways to keep in touch.  But it isn't the same as being able to call Christine and see if she wants to go look at yard sales in 5 minutes, or get a call from Kim who is working at the bank and craving fritos and come to her rescue by driving over and shoving a bag of chips in the vaccuum container at the drive thru.  ha ha

I think Rach had been in vacation mode during the summer, but starting back to school has made her realize how much she misses her friends.  She was at the same school for three years, so she made some very good friends and she was familiar with the whole school.   I keep finding notes like these:

She has collected all of her momentos from Chinle and put them all on her dresser together where she can look at them every day. her cowboy boots (which she has decided to wear this week), and her school yearbook, letter from her friend, trophies etc.  And then tonight she told me "now, I hope there isn't a fire. because then all of my memories would get ruined."  :( 

She is also struggling with friends--but more of the concept of best friends.  She has made some friends here--and she has a great friend who lives across the street that she knew from when we lived here previously.  She told me today "I want to tell my friend at school that I already have a best friend, but I don't want to make her sad."  So I explained how you can have more than one best friend--and you can definitely have a best friend in each place that you live. 

 I hate seeing my little girl so sad so hopefully this sadness fades sooner rather than later.  But on the up-side it is nice knowing that she has such happy memories from Chinle.  In fact she keeps telling me that she wants to move back to Chinle.  That she wishes she could drive to chinle every day to go back to her old school.  She has always been a way to scheme up a way to get what she wants--so trust me--her brain is scheming now to figure something out.  For now, she will have to settle with the thought of visiting sometime.